Life is Like That

Scene 1 : Nationality

A guy talking to a girl.
Guy: Are you Indian ?
The girl replied back.
Girl: Yes of course I am Indian.
I was flabbergasted. It was like they show in the movies. The trees stopped swaying, the birds stopped in mid air, the waves in the sea froze for a second and the whole world came to a stand still.
Do you ask why?
This whole scene took place in the Indian High commission in Singapore.

---

Scene 2 : SMS Eavesdrop Monday Morning

( I happened to eavesdrop (of course accidentally) on a lady messaging her boy friend on the train.)
Janice: Oh am so sleepy this morning. It was a tiring night yesterday and it got pretty late ;)
Peter: Yes it was tiring but good fun.
Janice: Thanks for organizing the friday gathering.
Peter: Hope you enjoyed my friends on friday.
Janice: I did. But I enjoyed you better yesterday!
Sometimes Singlish is too short to convey the meaning. Just remember to change "you" to "your company" in the above conversation to get the right meaning. :D

---

Scene 3 : S-Team Boat

(Conversation in a office meeting to organize an event. Of course the names have been changed but are indicative of their place of origin.)

Irodov Vadapava: Let us think of some idea to organize the company yearly event for team building
Pierre Fries : I had thought about it. How about a cruise on a ship and a boat party?
Jollygood Steak: That seems to be a nice idea,
Akram Kebab: Company Compliancy Policy IPC Section 666A does not allow this stating this as Employee Loss risk. What if the ship sinks drowning more than half our employees!
Jollygood Steak: Is that bad after all ;)

Gairvani

Rajappa (Gairvani's father[Appa]) and Gairvani have just returned from Riverdale to Rajappa's ancestral home in Malgudi,(Rajappa's hometown).

Rajappa standing besides the ancient loft in his house.
Appa: "Gairvaaaani"! Can you please come here a minute and help me hold this stool?

Gairvaani: In a jiffy daddykins, just give me a moment.

Appa: Call me Appa(father) ok! And not daddykins!

Gairvani: Then you call me Vanessa and not Gairvaani, how about that?

Appa: Don't be ridiculous. Dont you know what your name means? "Gairvani" represents the "Sanskrit" Langugage which is one of the most ancient languages in the world and is supposed to be the language of the Gods.

Gairvani: Ya; But imagine what I had to put up in school. They shortened my name to Vani first, then "Vain" and they used to sing

Vain Vain Go away
Come again another day
Little Arthur wants to play
In the meadow by the hay!

I used to feel so ashamed to go to school. That's why I named myself Vanessa!

Appa: Silly excuses! Where was your sense of humor? You should have just laughed your way through this.By the way who is this Arthur?

(Giggly gairvani)
Gairvani: You really don't wanna know! He was big time courting me. I dated him a couple of times, but really not my type you know.

(Annoyed at his ignorance of such situations)
Appa: Hmph! Enough of unnecessary talk, let us get to business. Get into the loft and remember to wear your face mask.

Garivani: Yuck. Why is this loft so dirty?

Appa: Of course it will be dirty. It is so old. It used to be used for storing coconuts from the house. Every three months conconuts were plucked from the trees,counted and stacked here. It used to be infested with Rats.
We used to joke about it:

Let us make some coconut rice
Oh no! first we would have to kill the mice.
Let us make some sweets for the mouse-trap
Oh no! we would have to kills the ants, this is total crap.
Let us get some gammexane
Oh no!, This rhyme is turning me totally insane.

Gairvaani: Did you just make that up? It was pathetic!By the way Appa, what is in that big chest at the back there?

Appa: That contains my father's old typewriter. You know he was a famous writer. He used to take great care of the typewriter. I think it should still be in working condition.

Gairvani: Can you get that down for me. I am quite fascinated by old gadgets. I can use it for preparing my term paper based on our India visit.

Appa: Sure! Here hold it carefully. Let me find the manual for you that will help you set it up.

Gairvani: Daddy! Do you think that I am that dumb? I should be able to figure it out myself.

Appa: Your wish is my command my dear whiz Kid! It is all yours now!

Gairvani: Great! Leave me alone to do my work now.

Appa: Ok Ok ! Don't order me!

[Four hours later. Gairvani has been working on her report industriously.]
Appa: My darling daughter how is your report coming along! As my professor used to tell me you should do : constant consistent hard industrious meticulous work and not last minute work.

Gairvani: You always underestimate me don't you! I am done with this report finally. If you could just tell me how to print this out I shall do that and mail this report to the university.

Appa: WHAAAT! (Breaks out into loud laughter)Let me pass the manual to you at least now. It would probably take you 5 minutes to go through it.
*(and to himself chuckling : And another four hours typing your entire report again with paper in the tray).

[Inspired by an episode of "My Wife and Kids" on Star World)

Glossary
Riverdale = A fictional town in Archies *(set in the US)
Malgudi = A fictonal town in RK Narayan's novels (set in India)

Insurance Thea-tricks

Agent Smith is an insurance agent for Neo Beyond Life Services Ltd.

Rocket Ramanujam is a Middle-Class Millionare Moron (sorry ;) Oxy-Moron) from Chennai.

Agent Smith: Have you thought about your future sir?
Rocket Ramanujam: Most definitely. Tommorow I am going out on a date with Abirami.
Agent Smith: Not just tommorow sir, the further future.
Rocket Ramanujam: Oh yes. I am meeting Albert my friend in Amsterdam in 2 months.
Agent Smith: I am talking long term Sir
Rocket Ramanujam: Long term I want to be a Pilot!
Agent Smith: No kidding?
Rocket Ramanujam: "Sathyam"-aa solren baa! (Saying nothing but the truth)
Agent Smith: That is a very risky job sir. Jokes apart, life is like a "Casino" Sir. You can win and lose money very quickly.So you should plan well ahead. Take my advise and dont have any "Ega" .
Rocket Ramanujam: I have "Devi"'s blessings and I want to live in "Shanthi" (peace)in this "Paradise" like world.
Agent Smith: Life is a mystic "Mayajaal" (mirage / maze) and there could be testing times. Don't you want a "Grand" life for your future generation.
Rocket Ramanujam: I belong to Generation Next. So I am already my future generation. Don't waste my time anymore. Were you born during the Autumnal Equ-"Inox" ? Your head seems to be as barren as the trees during fall. Go take a holiday in the cool "Woodlands" listening to soothing "Melody".
Agent Smith: Right ho! But just before I leave I want you to have a look at this "Take it easy Policy" !

Rocket Ramanujam: What, are you selling Windows to Microsoft? I created that policy! Now buzz off or you will be terminated.

** - The ones in the Blue above are famous Cinema halls in Chennai.

Boat of Life - Quotes

Amazing lines from the first few chapters of the book "Three Men In a Boat"

• Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat, enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing!

• It is not that I object to work; I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

• Everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for funeral expenses.

"Up up and away in IX 661 to Chennai shortly"

Biting Philosophy - Thathuvam Solren Kettuko

I had recently gone to these comedy dramas in Chennai. One of them was titled "Thandramukhi" by Y.Gee Mahendran's troupe. It was one laughing riot. The following are excerpts from the drama:

Thathuvan Solren Kettuko:

1. Ticket Vaangi Ulla Ponaa adhu Cinema Theatre
Ulla Poi Ticket Vanginaaa adhu Operation Theatre!

2. Daily Calendar'la thedhi (date) kizhikkarom, adhu namakku theriyum
Anaaa andha thedhi-laa naama ennaa kizhikarom-nu andha calendar-ku theriyumaaa!

3. Kaasu irundha Call-Taxi. Kaasu illena Kaale Taxi!

This is a latest addition damn good:

bus un mela aerunaalum nee bus-la aerunaalum ticket edukka poradhu nee thaan. :D

Curiosity Fills the Board - Box Office Hit

There is no denying that People are curious. They are curious about their environment, about other's lives etc etc. Curious people need to be fed constantly with intriguing thoughts and things to keep them satisfied and I am more than ready to oblige to do that.

My cubicle in office is situated right next to the pantry. All those curious people who pass my cubicle while on their way to the pantry can't help but stare into my cubicle and at my white board because their curiosity tells them to do so. Poor souls.

So as my duty I have to feed them interesting things to ponder about. So what we(me and my colleague) did to my discussion white board was this:

We wrote some random (bull-shit) equations (and made sure that we covered most symbols like double differentials, Cyclic Integrals, Limits) and made a derivation which resulted in a mathematical percentage value. Here comes the most important line, we wrote "SUCCESS" in the last line implying we achieved something.

To add to this soup we drew some random graphs to resemble some break even analysis combined with some complex efficiency index. :D
Snapshot of our board:

We just left these on the board for around 2 days to judge the response. We had released our
First movie and we did not know how it had fared in the box-office.

Two days later, I am in the pantry and one person comes to me and says, "wow so many equations and formulas on your board, what is up?" (really curious)"

I casually shrug my shoulders and reply "oh that was nothing, some really simple stuff
that we were discussing the other day" !
[He is totally baffled and I left him alone to think about it!!! :D]

Now showing: Mash You Up (The Master MashUp )
Trailer:

The Chennai December Music Season

Characters: Sambhu, Uncle (Mama), Aunty(Mami)

Sambhu:
Nethikki OS Thyagarajan kutchery poi irundhele eppidi maama irundhudhu?
Yesterday you had been to OS Thyagarajan's kutchery (concert). How was it uncle?

Uncle:
one aam class daa. suda suda mollaga bajji ennama irundhudhu theriyumo!
First class daa! The Mollaga Bajji (Chilly Pakora) was excellent!

Sambhu:
enna maama solrel, kutchery epdi irundhudhu?
What are you telling uncle, I asked about the concert?

Uncle:
unnaku vishiyam theriyumo un friend Baskar irrukanono, oru ponnoda vandhurundhaanda!
Do you know, your friend Baskar had come with a dame?

Sambhu:
avan girl friend aa irrukum maama, namakku edhukku oor vambu, seri innum kutchery-epdi irundhudhunnu sollave illiye?
It must have been his girl friend uncle. Why poke our nose into other's matters. You have still not told me about the concert!

Uncle:
adhellam enakku theriyadhu daaa maami-ya kaelu daa!
These trifle matters I dont know, you can ask aunty!

Sambhu:
seri maami neengalavadhu sollungo kutchery epdi irundhudhu?
Ok Aunty, at least you tell me how the kutchery was?

Aunty:
cutchery aa adhu kadakkaradhu. indha pakathaathu pankajam irrukaalono!

Uncle:
Thadha-ri-naa-naa-tha-aa-aa-na
Humming a raga in an out of tune baritone voice!

Aunty: (Enraged at the interruption)
Yenna setha summa irrukelaa, mukiyamana vishiyam pesidirrukeno illiyo!
enna abaswaram paa. Suttu pottaalum ungalukku paatu varadhu,. ennatha
pathu varsham paatu kathundelo!

Uncle: (teriffied and embarassed)
Seri di nee sonna seri

Sambhu:
Enna maami ungaathula Madurai Strongaaa ! Seri sollungo , Pankajam maami...


Aunty:
Hmm cutchery kku pankajam enna altoppu theriyumaaa, pattu podavai enna, jarigai enna, necklace enna. Achacho sahikkala!

Sambhu:
Seri maami idhukkum kutcherykkum enna sambandham?

Uncle: (Back to his singing now but in a lower tone)
Sa-Dha-Ma-Ga-Tha-Ma-Dha-Ma (Saadham Aaga Thaamadhama)
Any delay in cooking the rice? (Question asked in a musical notation)

Aunty:
Enna thirumbi munumunuppu! Periya Kamal Haasannnu nenaippu.
Ungallukku innum oru mani neram kazhinju dhan saapadu!

Sambhu:
Seri naan kelambaren

Finally a disappointed Sambu returns home with no information on the actual concert!

RUDE AND RUDER

KEY:
[[]] - The text within the brackets are "Captain-Subtext"'s opinions.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Murdoch#Captain_Subtext)

ENCOUNTER WITH RUDE:

Rude is an old lady. The conversation happens in a flight or in some transit place.

RUDE: Hello, hi I am rude

ME: Hi, I am Me, nice meeting you. So you live in singapore?

RUDE: No, No I live in Chennai. My son lives there. I visit him regularly.

ME: So you like Singapore?

RUDE: It is OK. We are used to bigger places and more space. My son is getting adjusted. You know he was in Ammerikka before.

ME: Oh nice.
[[I am grateful for this wonderful piece of information so that I can improve my GK.]]

RUDE: Everything is so big there.

ME: Oh is it?
[[like what ;)]]

RUDE: So what do you do?

ME: I am studying Masters in Singapore.

RUDE: ok. You dint apply for Universities in Ammerikka? You know my son did his MS from XXX University. My son says American universities are much better than the ones in Singapore.

ME: oh ok
[[?? No comments. Sometimes the truth is bitter, but if you are chewing candy everything tastes sweet :D ]]

==========================================
ENCOUNTER WITH RUDER:

Ruder is a man around 35-40 years old and the conversation happens on the Bus enroute to office.



RUDER: Hi I am ruder. I have seen you in this bus quite often. Do you take this bus regularly?

ME: Hi I am Me. So you live in Singapore?

:D sorry went into cruise-control mode. Here is the altered response.

ME: Hi Am Me. Yeah I do take this bus quite often.

RUDER: So you work in "Low BP" Business park also?

ME: Yes

RUDER: Which company?

ME: You have heard of "Interesting Sea Inc. (ISI)" ?

RUDER: Oh "ISI" is it that old company that used to make those tools. Oh is it still around? I thought it went down in some financial crisis.

ME: no it is very much around
[[dude am I working in some ghost company]]

RUDER: You know I used to use those tools and products long back. It was OK. But you know "MacroHard" company came up with much better tools. I preferred using MarcoHard's tools to ISI tools.

ME: hmmmm
[[GRRRRRRRr..... who asked your preference man. BUZZ OFF]]

RUDER: So does ISI Inc. pay well? May I please know your salary, If you dont mind pleeeeez?

ME: duh! what? hmmm generally the Tech sector salary ranges are like (a+b) whole-squared IS-EQUAL TO a-SQUARED plus TWO-a-b plus B-squared . BLAH BLAH BLAH
[[This is my revenge. Let me confuse him as much as possible :)]]

Ruder's disappointed at not knowing my salary and is confused with too many details which make absolutely no sense. But I was atleast successful in picking his interest.

RUDER: I ONLY simbly asked NO. I dint know there were so many intricate things involved..
You know I work for "Unnecessary-Information Systems". Itz turn-over is Infinity, Market capitalization 1 Trillion, with an excellent p/e ratio and a growth Rate of "C" (SPEED OF LIGHT) and excellent compensation and benefits AND ALSO ....

I get to sit on a nice brand new pink color chair AND ALSO they serve nice "Aunty" Chips AND ALSO they serve Monkey brand biscuits in office. AND ALSO We get to work on cutting edge technology

ME: Thatz good.
[[Cutting edge it seems. So MR AND-ALSO is your "the-place-where-you-sit" bleeding?]]


RUDER: So I was just wondering you know. Basically I am proficient in ([A-Za-z0-9])* (Regular expressions for all possible acronyms) and I am BASICALLY very flexible and also very versatile and basically have very good communications skills also NO.

Since we know each other so well now, I would be extremely happy if you can forward my Resume for job openings in your Company.

ME: Thatz great.Yeah sure no problem.
[Happy Indeed. So Mr. AND-ALSO-BASICALLY-NO what happened to your Macrohard Preferences and Cutting Edge experiences.]

Humor Ungal (your) Choice

Today in Pepsi ungal choice I came across some real humor situation.

This Lady calls up Pepsi Uma, and after this usual hysteric remarks, like "you are really beautiful", "I am really grateful to speak in this show etc", Uma asks this question.

The following was their conversation:

Pepsi Uma: Ungallukku Kuzhandhai Irruka ?
Do you have any children ?

Caller Lady: Illa, innum illa.
No, Not yet.

Pepsi Uma: So Inimel Dhaana ?
So in the future is it?

Caller Lady: Naan rendu varshama try panren.
Have been trying for two years!

Inniku dhaan kadaichudu
Got only today!

Enakku romba sandoshama irruku
I am really happy.

(Btw. for those who dint get it, the lady was referring to the call, that she got through to Ungal choice program and not her efforts for a kid !!!)

SPAM DELIGHT

Having the privelege of a very common name as my gmail account, I have received umpteen e-mails that were not meant for me. I once even got a marriage proposal asking when to schedule a marriage and conveying that all in the bride's family were happy with the alliance!

The following is an e-mail that I received today and I felt quite happy after reading it, thought it was not meant for me ;)

Dear Rajesh,
It is my pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted into the
doctoral program in Biophysical Sciences and that Dr. Sachs has agreed to
be your mentor and to provide both stipend and tuition support for you
while you pursue your doctoral studies in his laboratory.

Malcolm Slaughter
Department of Physiology and Biophysics
124 Sherman Hall
University at Buffalo
Buffalo, NY 14214

Suttum Vizhi Chudare : Ghajni

FIVE STAR FOLLIES

The best part of working in an IT company is that you get to go to most of the Five Star hotels in the city. The primary reason for these visits/treats is due to the team building measures taken by companies so that people can get to know each other well. I do not know whether this is very effective or not, but I can surely say that we surely get to know all the specialities and delicacies of each Five Star hotel! During these visits, the general ettiquette says that you should not be outwardly explicit about your eagerness for the food. From what I have observed people do try their best to engage in a serious business or technical conversation, although all their inner thoughts are about the food and the surroundings. It is a general tendency to show that you are not too impressed/eager about the food and the place and that you have been to better places. People think that this is a sign of their sophistication and urbanity. But alas how long can the mind rule over the stomach? Soon all the irrelevant conversation ends abruptly and then all signs of decency
vanish in a jiffy and people rush to grab their plates.

It was one such visit to the Oberoi hotel in MG Road Bangalore. This was my first Five Star hotel visit. I was quite amazed at the elaborate table arrangements and the display of arrays of exotic food varieties. I was terror struck seeing the fork and spoon beside my plate as I hardly knew how to use them. Then I was relieved to see that most people around us in the hotel were not using fork and spoon, but just the God-given hand. We began the treat with a general dull conversation. Most of us were really hungry by then and soon one saviour mentioned that we begin our meal. I was quite relieved at this suggestion and immediately made a grab of my plate and walked over to the food counter. There were so many dishes, half of which I could not even recognise the names. Then I decided that I would taste only those dishes whose name I recognized. So it was just the usual North Indian Dal,Rajma,Roti I had. I tried to scram in as much as food possible into my plate so that I could avoid the frequent akward refills. After I finished this course of my meal, my colleague casually glanced at my plate and remarked that "Hey dint u want to try the starters?". Of course I wanted to try the starters, because god knows when I would visit such a hotel again. So after my main course I started munching on the starters.Here I was having my meal in an upside down order.

When asked, the chef there told us that the speciality of the day was "Avial Kootu" and "Bindi (Lady's Finger) Poriyal(Curry)". These dishes are so commonly made in South Indian households that I wondered how it could be called a speciality!


Finally everyone finished their meals and we marched on to conquer the deserted dessert section. I would have surely gained a few solid pounds that day that could be directly associated with the amount of fat content in the desserts. Then came the formal session of thanking the sponsor of the treat, the team consultant, who was visiting from the States. Poor guy he had hardly eaten during this treat.Probably he could not digest the fact that so many of us were digesting his money !!

A QUESTION OF COMMITMENT

The state of being commited essentially means something pledged or the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled. One could be committed to various things like, one could be committed to a cause, his profession or to someone. The designers of the orkut portal have assumed the latter meaning to the state of being committed. I see quite a number of people listed in Orkut who are already committed and the number is day by day increasing.


I too can claim to have committed you know! But the only time I have committed is when I performed a database commit operation. I would rather prefer to remain noncommital about my intentions towards a commitment, although I feel that it is best to postpone it as long as possible, because responsibilities and unimaginable troubles are usually concomitant with a commitment. What I would prefer to do later, is to entrust this quite assiduous task to my parents who would quite happily take up this job of getting me committed with great commitment!

PROGRAM Wife 1.0

Here is some really interesting read. Check this out-->



Upgrading Girlfriend 1.0
Tech Support Request

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but un-install does not work on this program.

Can you help me? Jonathan Powell

---------------------------------------------------------

Dear Jonathan Powell-

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

WARNING: DO NOT TRY TO: un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disastrous. Doing so may destroy your hard and/or floppy drive. Trying to un-install or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy valuable system resources.

You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 1.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non-recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand.

Often their systems have become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance. Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0

* Monthly use utilities such as TLC and FTD
* Frequently use Communicator 5.0
* Tech Support

LIMERICKS : Win Tay From Trinidad and Tobago

LIMERICKS

A limerick is a short, often humorous and ribald poem developed to a very specific structure. A true limerick is supposed to have a kind of twist to it. This may lie in the final line,or it may lie in the way the rhymes are often intentionally tortured, or both.

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

HISTORY AND ORIGIN
The origins of the actual word limerick is obscure. The first dictionary reports it only in 1898. The name is often linked to an earlier form of nonsense verse which was traditionally followed by the refrain that ended "...come all the way up to Limerick?", Limerick being an Irish town.

There are quite a number of famous writers who have contributed many limericks.Ogden Nash is renowned for humorous short poetry, and often used the limerick form:

There once was a miser named Clarence
Who Simonized both of his parents;
"The initial expense,"
he remarked, "is immense,
But it saves on the wearance and tearance."

RECURRING THEMES IN LIMERICKS

The island of Nantucket has been an especially recurring theme in limericks, including the following,which is likely the best-known of all poems in the form:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket (Nan took it)

For more information on Limericks Check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

The following is an original composition of a limerick from me. Hope you like it!
WIN TAY FROM TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO

It is has been quite sometime now since my poem you have have heard
I am still trying and this is only my third.

I am about to weave one hell of a story
A bit too comical a bit too gory.

There was a man called 'Win Tay' from Trinidad and Tobago
He had a habit of consuming too much tobacco!

He puffed and puffed and smoked away to glory,
Little did he realise that his life would become such a sad story!

One day while he was driving in his Mitsubishi Lancer,
His spanish doctor called him on his cell and informed that he had Cancer!

The poor guy's heart was really broken,
Now he regretted every puff of smoke he had taken!

In a frenzy he brought his car to a screeching halt,
He now contemplated on ending his life with cyanide salt.

Then he saw an unbelievable sight,
Of a stray dog laughing and barking at his sad plight.

He went up to the dog engraged
To be laughed at by a dog, he really felt disgraced!

He took a stone and aimed it at the dog,
The throw was off target and the stone landed on a rotting log.

The laughing dog ran away howling,
However the log now had started rolling.

It was coming directly at him,
He knew his chances of survival were really dim!

His whole life flashed past him in a second,
He had hardly a few moments of life left he reckoned.

He repented his deeds and started showing signs of compunction
He prayed to God with a solemn heart and great devotion.

He vowed that he would refrain from smoking,
He also admitted that hurting other beings too was a cause for his undoing.

High in the sky the Gods smiled and nodded,
Convinced that he had transformed, to him a new lease of life was awarded.

Then his cell phone rang again,
It was the fateful Doctor calling from Spain.

"My Dear boy there has been a grave mistake,
Lately there has been a considerable increase in my alchohol intake!

Drunk, I switched your file with my patient called 'Tin Way'
You are quite healthy and have every reason to be happy and gay!

I am sure you will live a very long life,
With many a children and a wife!"

Win Tay gave a big sigh of relief,
what had happened that day had gone way beyond his belief!

YOU HAVE GOT MAIL

YOU HAVE GOT MAIL

Recently I got so bored writing these usual dull e-mails that I thought I indite something more lively and it was quite a good experience for me. So here is the outcome of my writing effort.

TO: FRIENDS
FROM: ME
MESSAGE:START

Hey guys

I am very much sorry for my previous mail,
I owe you all an apology without fail.

It was out of sheer boredom,
that I began my quest for poetic wisdom.

Writing good verse is really hard,
and it is not easy to become a poet or a bard.

I know my verse lacks coherence and continuity
When it comes to writing poems I am nothing but a 1 by infinity!

I know you guys must be really busy
with "heaps" of work,
or "Stacks" of Tasks
or "Queues" of chores

But take this "Pointer" of a humble fool,
Take it easy, relax and cool!

I do know that the last bit was really pathetic,
So there is no need to get very much emphatic!

I would like to sign off now
but before that I do vow

That if I do find little leisure time
I will hit your inboxes with some more rhyme!

MESSAGE:ENDS

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

The following is one of the best PJ's I have heard till now.

Here it goes:

A man on a boat has 2 sacks of sand, a cricket ball, a string , a glass of water and a cigarette. He wants to light the cigarette but is unable to find any means as he does not possess any normal lighting equipment. Then he sits down calmly and thinks what to do. Presto he finds three different ways of doing this.


Think a lot before you actually want to see the answers.







METHOD NUMBER 1

STEP1: Drop the two sacks of sand in the water.
STEP2: The Boat becomes "Lighter".
STEP3: Use the lighter to light the cigarette.


METHOD NUMBER 2

STEP1: Throw the Cricket ball high into the air and then catch it.
STEP2: CATCHES WIN MATCHES!!!
STEP3: Use the Match to light the Cigarette.

METHOD NUMBER 3

STEP1: Take the String and the glass of water.
STEP2: Dip the String in the glass of water and take it out.
STEP3: The droplets of water fall from the string....

TIP TIP BARSA PAANI,
PAANI NE AAG LAGAYA!!

Take the fire and light your cigarette or ask Raveena to light it for you!