Sunday, March 30, 2008


Rajappa (Gairvani's father[Appa]) and Gairvani have just returned from Riverdale to Rajappa's ancestral home in Malgudi,(Rajappa's hometown).

Rajappa standing besides the ancient loft in his house.
Appa: "Gairvaaaani"! Can you please come here a minute and help me hold this stool?

Gairvaani: In a jiffy daddykins, just give me a moment.

Appa: Call me Appa(father) ok! And not daddykins!

Gairvani: Then you call me Vanessa and not Gairvaani, how about that?

Appa: Don't be ridiculous. Dont you know what your name means? "Gairvani" represents the "Sanskrit" Langugage which is one of the most ancient languages in the world and is supposed to be the language of the Gods.

Gairvani: Ya; But imagine what I had to put up in school. They shortened my name to Vani first, then "Vain" and they used to sing

Vain Vain Go away
Come again another day
Little Arthur wants to play
In the meadow by the hay!

I used to feel so ashamed to go to school. That's why I named myself Vanessa!

Appa: Silly excuses! Where was your sense of humor? You should have just laughed your way through this.By the way who is this Arthur?

(Giggly gairvani)
Gairvani: You really don't wanna know! He was big time courting me. I dated him a couple of times, but really not my type you know.

(Annoyed at his ignorance of such situations)
Appa: Hmph! Enough of unnecessary talk, let us get to business. Get into the loft and remember to wear your face mask.

Garivani: Yuck. Why is this loft so dirty?

Appa: Of course it will be dirty. It is so old. It used to be used for storing coconuts from the house. Every three months conconuts were plucked from the trees,counted and stacked here. It used to be infested with Rats.
We used to joke about it:

Let us make some coconut rice
Oh no! first we would have to kill the mice.
Let us make some sweets for the mouse-trap
Oh no! we would have to kills the ants, this is total crap.
Let us get some gammexane
Oh no!, This rhyme is turning me totally insane.

Gairvaani: Did you just make that up? It was pathetic!By the way Appa, what is in that big chest at the back there?

Appa: That contains my father's old typewriter. You know he was a famous writer. He used to take great care of the typewriter. I think it should still be in working condition.

Gairvani: Can you get that down for me. I am quite fascinated by old gadgets. I can use it for preparing my term paper based on our India visit.

Appa: Sure! Here hold it carefully. Let me find the manual for you that will help you set it up.

Gairvani: Daddy! Do you think that I am that dumb? I should be able to figure it out myself.

Appa: Your wish is my command my dear whiz Kid! It is all yours now!

Gairvani: Great! Leave me alone to do my work now.

Appa: Ok Ok ! Don't order me!

[Four hours later. Gairvani has been working on her report industriously.]
Appa: My darling daughter how is your report coming along! As my professor used to tell me you should do : constant consistent hard industrious meticulous work and not last minute work.

Gairvani: You always underestimate me don't you! I am done with this report finally. If you could just tell me how to print this out I shall do that and mail this report to the university.

Appa: WHAAAT! (Breaks out into loud laughter)Let me pass the manual to you at least now. It would probably take you 5 minutes to go through it.
*(and to himself chuckling : And another four hours typing your entire report again with paper in the tray).

[Inspired by an episode of "My Wife and Kids" on Star World)

Riverdale = A fictional town in Archies *(set in the US)
Malgudi = A fictonal town in RK Narayan's novels (set in India)

Friday, March 21, 2008

Insurance Thea-tricks

Agent Smith is an insurance agent for Neo Beyond Life Services Ltd.

Rocket Ramanujam is a Middle-Class Millionare Moron (sorry ;) Oxy-Moron) from Chennai.

Agent Smith: Have you thought about your future sir?
Rocket Ramanujam: Most definitely. Tommorow I am going out on a date with Abirami.
Agent Smith: Not just tommorow sir, the further future.
Rocket Ramanujam: Oh yes. I am meeting Albert my friend in Amsterdam in 2 months.
Agent Smith: I am talking long term Sir
Rocket Ramanujam: Long term I want to be a Pilot!
Agent Smith: No kidding?
Rocket Ramanujam: "Sathyam"-aa solren baa! (Saying nothing but the truth)
Agent Smith: That is a very risky job sir. Jokes apart, life is like a "Casino" Sir. You can win and lose money very quickly.So you should plan well ahead. Take my advise and dont have any "Ega" .
Rocket Ramanujam: I have "Devi"'s blessings and I want to live in "Shanthi" (peace)in this "Paradise" like world.
Agent Smith: Life is a mystic "Mayajaal" (mirage / maze) and there could be testing times. Don't you want a "Grand" life for your future generation.
Rocket Ramanujam: I belong to Generation Next. So I am already my future generation. Don't waste my time anymore. Were you born during the Autumnal Equ-"Inox" ? Your head seems to be as barren as the trees during fall. Go take a holiday in the cool "Woodlands" listening to soothing "Melody".
Agent Smith: Right ho! But just before I leave I want you to have a look at this "Take it easy Policy" !

Rocket Ramanujam: What, are you selling Windows to Microsoft? I created that policy! Now buzz off or you will be terminated.

** - The ones in the Blue above are famous Cinema halls in Chennai.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

A Fernvale Reverie

Lying on my bed by the window sill
I keep gazing at the moon
And often wonder that it is not here i belong
I need a place where time stands still !

For I need to listen to that sparrow chirping
I want to walk in the gardens and revel in the hibiscus blooms
For I want to stop by the river and listen to the croaking frogs
And spend hours throwing pebbles into the water
Watching in child-like amazement at the ripples formed.

But the moon is so far away
And so is my dream.
But that will not stop me from dreaming
There will be a day,
Dear sparrow hold your song for me until then!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

The Sthitha Prajna - Part 2

Immersed in water,his mind was racing back to those imprinted memories.
It was almost seven years ago. It was the Republic Day celebrations happening in National Engineering College, Panchavati. Vipra was a Senior Cadet in the NCC (National Cadet Corps) Panchavati division and he was leading the march past.He was clad in crisply ironed khakis, with shining metal boots that made a majestic resonating sound during the march past. All cadets wore big black belts with bronze metal links which were at their shining best, after all the "Brasso" polishing. The "Beret" on their heads with the bright red "Pom-Poms" worn at a tilting 45 degrees added to the colors of the fest.
The march past had ended with the contingent leading the College Principal to the flag hoisting. After the flag hoisting and the National Anthem, the college choir group started singing loudly, the National Flag Song:

Jhanda Ooncha Rahen Hamara
Let the National Flag always fly high.
Vijayi Vishwa Thiranga Pyaara
Let Our beloved tricolor be universally victorious!

A bright face in the first row of stage captured Vipra's full attention. It was the first time Vipra saw Sarojini. He was fascinated by the way she had held her head high up in the air, and singing with complete conviction. She was wearing a white Salwar with Green dupatta. Her hair was neatly braided and held together by Orange (saffron) ribbons. A sharp observer would also have noticed the blue ear drops and the blue Bindi on her forehead. In totality she seemed to symbolise the Indian National Flag.
Following this there were a number of National integration dances performed by various groups and patriotic plays of the likes of "Lala Lajpat Rai", "Bhagat Singh" etc. Eventually the events came to and end and the distribution of sweets started. Vipra anxiously scanned the crowd looking for her. He spotted her at one of the booths distributing sweets to students of first year. He decided to join the queue which was really long, but well worth the effort for him. Several of his friends dropped by and mocked at him for queueing with the first years being a 3rd year student. He retorted back saying that as a Senior Cadet he had to mingle with the first years to recruit fresh cadets.

Narrator's BGM: If I had to give a background music for this situation I would use the song from Guna :
Paartha Vizhi Paartha Padi Poothu Irruka
His eyes bloomed like a flower and were affixed on her
Kaathirundha Kaatchi Ingu Kaana Kidaikka
Finally after the long wait he could catch sight of her.

When he finally got to the front of the queue all the sweets were over by then. Sarojini made a sad face and indicated the empty sweet box.
Vipra spoke to her: "You have made me wait so long and you can't send me back empty handed"!
Sarojini remarked :" Hello Officer Sir! if you were here for the sweets then why din't you go and stand in the queue of your own year, which was much shorter."
Vipra: The Indian National Flag at this booth seemed to be calling out to me!
(Blushing a bit, but trying not to react)
Sarojini: What nonsense! nobody called for anybody!
Vipra: Let me give you another chance, you can buy me sweets at the college canteen tommorow evening 5 PM. How about that?
Sarojini: What me buying you sweets ! Why on earth would I do that? Do you even know my name?
Vipra: Ok then I will buy you, and you can buy me the next time! And I know your name Sarojini; I looked up in the performers list. And I am "Vipra" pleased to meet you, though I guess you might already know mine.
Sarojini: Wait a minute Big-headed officer!. I did not even ask for it. And how can you assume I will come!
Vipra: I know that the Indian Flag is compassionate and kind. It cannot refuse the requests of a humble citizen who adores the flag. Bye and see you tommorow!
To Be Continued....
Beret : A Military Cap
Pom-Pom: A furry ball that is pinned on to the Beret
(NCC) National Cadet Corps : An India Military Cadet Corps open to Youth. (school and college students)
Brasso: Polishing liquid for Brass