Monday, October 23, 2006

RUDE AND RUDER

KEY:
[[]] - The text within the brackets are "Captain-Subtext"'s opinions.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Murdoch#Captain_Subtext)

ENCOUNTER WITH RUDE:

Rude is an old lady. The conversation happens in a flight or in some transit place.

RUDE: Hello, hi I am rude

ME: Hi, I am Me, nice meeting you. So you live in singapore?

RUDE: No, No I live in Chennai. My son lives there. I visit him regularly.

ME: So you like Singapore?

RUDE: It is OK. We are used to bigger places and more space. My son is getting adjusted. You know he was in Ammerikka before.

ME:
Oh nice.
[[I am grateful for this wonderful piece of information so that I can improve my GK.]]

RUDE:
Everything is so big there.

ME:
Oh is it?
[[like what ;)]]


RUDE:
So what do you do?

ME:
I am studying Masters in Singapore.

RUDE:
ok. You dint apply for Universities in Ammerikka? You know my son did his MS from XXX University. My son says American universities are much better than the ones in Singapore.

ME:
oh ok
[[?? No comments. Sometimes the truth is bitter, but if you are chewing candy everything tastes sweet :D ]]

==========================================
ENCOUNTER WITH RUDER:

Ruder is a man around 35-40 years old and the conversation happens on the Bus enroute to office.



RUDER: Hi I am ruder. I have seen you in this bus quite often. Do you take this bus regularly?

ME: Hi I am Me. So you live in Singapore?

:D sorry went into cruise-control mode. Here is the altered response.

ME: Hi Am Me. Yeah I do take this bus quite often.

RUDER: So you work in "Low BP" Business park also?

ME: Yes

RUDER: Which company?

ME: You have heard of "Interesting Sea Inc. (ISI)" ?

RUDER: Oh "ISI" is it that old company that used to make those tools. Oh is it still around? I thought it went down in some financial crisis.

ME: no it is very much around
[[dude am I working in some ghost company]]

RUDER: You know I used to use those tools and products long back. It was OK. But you know "MacroHard" company came up with much better tools. I preferred using MarcoHard's tools to ISI tools.

ME: hmmmm
[[GRRRRRRRr..... who asked your preference man. BUZZ OFF]]

RUDER: So does ISI Inc. pay well? May I please know your salary, If you dont mind pleeeeez?

ME: duh! what? hmmm generally the Tech sector salary ranges are like (a+b) whole-squared IS-EQUAL TO a-SQUARED plus TWO-a-b plus B-squared . BLAH BLAH BLAH
[[This is my revenge. Let me confuse him as much as possible :)]]

Ruder's disappointed at not knowing my salary and is confused with too many details which make absolutely no sense. But I was atleast successful in picking his interest.

RUDER: I ONLY simbly asked NO. I dint know there were so many intricate things involved..
You know I work for "Unnecessary-Information Systems". Itz turn-over is Infinity, Market capitalization 1 Trillion, with an excellent p/e ratio and a growth Rate of "C" (SPEED OF LIGHT) and excellent compensation and benefits AND ALSO ....

I get to sit on a nice brand new pink color chair AND ALSO they serve nice "Aunty" Chips AND ALSO they serve Monkey brand biscuits in office. AND ALSO We get to work on cutting edge technology

ME: Thatz good.
[[Cutting edge it seems. So MR AND-ALSO is your "the-place-where-you-sit" bleeding?]]


RUDER: So I was just wondering you know. Basically I am proficient in ([A-Za-z0-9])* (Regular expressions for all possible acronyms) and I am BASICALLY very flexible and also very versatile and basically have very good communications skills also NO.

Since we know each other so well now, I would be extremely happy if you can forward my Resume for job openings in your Company.

ME: Thatz great.Yeah sure no problem.
[Happy Indeed. So Mr. AND-ALSO-BASICALLY-NO what happened to your Macrohard Preferences and Cutting Edge experiences.]

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Yours Royally

I just happened happened to come across this photographic novel called "Maharajas of India". It has some really rare and wonderful photos of the indian royalty and some interesting facts and stories about them. I have included some of the good ones below :

1. Maharajah of Patiala Hails (rather judges) Hitler

It was the time when Hitler was becoming popular and famous for his totalitarian and fascist dictatorship. The Maharajah of Patiala had this itching to visit Germany and travel around. So he wrote to the Indian Government (the then ruling authorities though it was under the British):

"There is also that rising Dictator, Herr Hitler, and it would afford me so much pleasure to see him and judge him on his merits or otherwise"

[Hilarious!!! A visit just to judge Hitler on his merits :D ]

The Maharajah then finally visited Berlin and had a meeting with Hitler that lasted 30 minutes. After all this pain you know what the Maharajah first spoke to Hitler ?

He began telling Hitler how much he had to pay extraordinarily for the Medical fees in Germany earlier!! Hitler did not even respond to this!

2. Bahadur Shah Zafar - The Shaayar
We all know that Bahadur Shah Zafar was the last of the Mughal rulers. He was imprisoned at the age of 80 and his sons were killed, for being a part of the Great Indian Sepoy mutiny of 1857. He had also another side to him. He was a great poet and below is one of the verses he wrote when he was in the midst of all this misery:

The Tempest of Misfortune has overwhelmed me
It has scattered my glory to the winds
And dispersed my throne in the Air
Bahadur Shah Zafar was exiled in Rangoon which is where he died.
The following was the verse written by him as his epitaph (translated in english):

My heart is not happy in this despoiled land
Who has ever felt fulfilled in this transient world

Tell these emotions to go dwell elsewhere
Where is there space for them in this bismirched (bloodied) heart

I had requested for a long life a life of four days
Two passed by in pining, and two in waiting.

How unlucky is Zafar! For burial
Even two yards of land were not to be had, in the land (of the) beloved


3. Washing Hands Washes Away the Throne

At a royal gathering in the year 1911, the Maharajah Jai Singh of Alwar chanced upon Queen Mary and King George V. As was the formality Jai Singh shook hands with the King and then with the Queen. It was considered a sin in those days for an Indian King to shake hands with a stranger woman and hence to purify his hands he washed himself with Ganges water later.
The English Royalty came to know about this somehow (:D) and this indiscretion cost him quite a lot and he was forced to step down by the British Queen.

Profound - Gems from the Gita

Indriyanam Hi Charatham
Yat manah anuvidhyathe
tad asya harati prajnam
vaayur navam ivambhasi

As a strong wind sweeps away a boat on the water, even one of the roaming senses on which the mind focuses can carry away a man's intelligence.


Yogasthah Kuru Karmani
Sangam thyak-thva Dhananjaya
Siddhi - Asidhyoh Samoh Bhoothva
Samathvam Yoga uchyathe

Perform your duty equipoised, O Arjuna, abandoning all attachment to success or failure. Such equanimity is called yoga.